


Things That Matter

by exklusiv



Category: Korean Pop, Kpop - Fandom, SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 19:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exklusiv/pseuds/exklusiv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taemin loves everything about Eunsook, especially her long, inky black hair. But surely that's not the main reason he loves her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

If Taemin was being honest with himself (which he tried to be most of the time), her face was the second thing he noticed. Usually, a man would see her face and decide if she was right for him. To tell if her nose was right, if her eyes were to his tastes and her mouth was shaped nicely. But it took Taemin at least a third look before he saw her face.

All his focus had been on her long, luscious, inky black hair.

He’d never once considered himself a hair enthusiast, but she was something different. He laid eyes on her at the moment she had tossed it over her shoulder, where it spilled down very near the middle of her back. She had bangs, curled, lovely bangs that ended right above her cheery eyes, the hair at her temple twisted back and held in place with a plain white barrette. He’d seen her, then blinked and looked at her again; he caught the little artificial curls that were scattered about the ends of her long hair, as if she had lazily used a curling iron that morning. After he had shyly looked away, he finally looked back and saw her face. Mirthful and sweet and with barely any makeup, she was stirring the feelings of desire in his fourteen-year-old heart and he ached for her. And this had all happened before he’d let his eyes wander down, like any normal fourteen-year-olds eyes would, and he took in the terribly large size of her breasts.

Her name was Eunsook, she was four years older than he was, and she was, by the grace of God, terribly smitten with Taemin from the moment he awkwardly walked up to her lunch table and shamelessly declared, “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on.”

That was six years ago. Time had passed, and their unlikely relationship had grown. Taemin remained as insanely in love with Eunsook as he had been the moment he’d seen her lusciously long hair, and Eunsook’s fondness for the gawky younger boy had grown into love as time went on. Though Taemin was always quick to assure her that he loved everything about her, he made it absolutely no secret that her hair was his favorite thing about her, and he made it clear not only in his words, but his actions.

When Taemin had gone in for their first real kiss (Eunsook initiated it, but he kept it going), he had moved to deepen it by sliding his fingers through her silky hair and pulling her closer. When Eunsook had pushed the limits in the back of his new-but-used car, going down on him nervously, he had encouraged her by petting her hair and moaning. When Eunsook stressed during exams, Taemin cuddled her and combed her hair, sufficiently relaxing her.

After Taemin turned eighteen, they promptly moved in together, despite their parent’s protests of them being too young. Even their friends looked down on them moving in, saying that it could never work once they shared space. Though Taemin had a job and a car and was going to attend the college with Eunsook, who worked on campus, they did their best to make ends meet. Taemin was too enamored to let it end over small issues with cohabitation, and Eunsook was patient and kind, although she did not give up so easily. They fought, sometimes one would go back to their parents’ house and spend the night to cool down, sometimes doors were slammed and tears were shed, but they always ended back together, mending the problem, talking, trying and by the end of the night they would be curled around each other, Taemin’s hands stroking through Eunsook’s long hair.

Taemin was twenty now, Eunsook just short of twenty-four, and they were doing well. They had moved into a bigger apartment, something with a small back yard, and had gotten a puppy; a whirlwind hybrid dog the breeder had called an Imo-Inu, or a Shiba Inu and American Eskimo mix. He was mostly tan with a white belly and facial markings and black tips on his ears and tail. They named him Puck; he added a fun and wild addition to their relationship, and it was at this point that Taemin’s best friend Minho whistled low when Taemin told him what they had done.

“Dude, you are ten feet away from a jewelry shop and a proposal. Be ready.” Taemin had rolled his eyes at that.

They were comfortable in their relationship, and they were happy. Despite everything, they were incredibly happy, and they had beaten everyone’s expectations. Eunsook liked to thumb her nose at her best friend Gwiboon, who had given their relationship three months. They were, after all, six years strong, and she was well within her rights to do so.

One night, Taemin sat on the couch, Eunsook on the floor between his knees, doing her homework from her child development classes as Puck sat in front of the TV, trying desperately to retrieve the stuffing out of one of the stuffing-less toys they’d bought for him, Taemin quietly combing out and braiding Eunsook’s hair, something he did frequently.

“Stop it, you’re going to make me fall asleep, and this is due tomorrow,” Eunsook giggled, brushing back her bangs, which she had let grow out past her chin.

“You think you’d be immune by now,” Taemin said, gently combing out a snarl and neatly sectioning out her hair, which now reached to just beneath her lower back, into thirds.

“I’m never going to be immune to those soft fingers. Have you decided what you’re going to go to school for yet?” Eunsook asked casually, making a mark on her paper and looking back at her book.

“I don’t know. Nothing interests me. I just don’t see anything I like. It’s kind of annoying, actually.”

“You know, Taemin, you seem very interested in hair. Why not become a stylist?”

Taemin paused in his braiding. “A hair stylist? And have every gay man that comes in hit on me?”

“I’d just have to put a picture of us on your station, wouldn’t I?” Eunsook said with a smile, readjusting the baggy cutoff sweatpants she wore. “Come on, you could do it. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought you were gay, for how interested you are in hair. You can work a set of steam rollers better than I can, and no one has ever braided my hair like you have.”

“Those heated hair curlers are not called steam rollers,” Taemin laughed. “They’re called hot rollers.”

“See? Made for this! Come on, you know you’re good when Gwiboon trusts you to touch up her highlights. At least look into it, would you? I know you love where you work, but you barely lasted two semesters at the community college before you decided it wasn’t for you. Maybe beauty school is.”

“And if it isn’t for me?” Taemin pulled her braid snug and snapped a rubber band around the end.

“Beauty school drop-out,” Eunsook began to sing, grinning like she had made a grand joke.

“No graduation day for you!” Taemin finished, reaching down and closing Eunsook’s book. Eunsook squawked in protest, and then found herself being tackled and squished by her skinny twig of a boyfriend.

“Beauty school drop-out!” Taemin continued, nuzzling obnoxiously into her ear.

“Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo!” Eunsook added, screaming when Taemin reached to tickle her sides. “No, no, stop!”

“Ooh, girlfriend, you have got to see me about those split ends. Ah, you should have come here sooner!” Taemin whined, mocking the stereotype of the gay hairdresser with a lisp and a lilt in his voice.

“Why am I dating you? Ah, no, stop the tickling!” Eunsook screeched, trying to wriggle away. By this time, Puck had caught on to the excitement and had started barking, running around Taemin and Eunsook excitedly, with his curly tail wagging happily.

“Get him, Puck, get him!” Eunsook urged, pulling at Taemin’s soft brown hair. Puck whined and pounced forward, stopping before he hit either of them, his tail wagging excitedly.

Taemin soon ended the tickle fight and he and Eunsook lay there quietly on the floor, side by side, Puck still pacing around them quietly. Eunsook laced her fingers with Taemin’s.

“So, Taemin, what do you think about me with short hair, maybe?”

Taemin’s eyes shot open and he stared at her. “Short hair? Have you lost your mind?”

“No, I haven’t, thanks,” Eunsook scoffed, kicking Taemin’s ankle. “No, I was just thinking, it’s time for a change, is all. I haven’t had an actual haircut since I was, I don’t know, eleven. It’s always been just a trim. I was thinking maybe I could do something different.”

“Like layers?”

“I don’t know. I was thinking a big change. Like a shocking one.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t,” Taemin said, pouting. “Your hair is so gorgeous, so silky and black and beautiful.”

“I was just talking about a haircut, not a dye job. That’s more Gwiboon and you than me,” Eunsook replied. “I just feel like I need a change.”

Taemin mulled it over. “Please don’t.”

“Why is my hair such a big deal for you?”

“Because it’s beautiful and I love it.”

“Do you love the rest of me?”

Taemin raised an eyebrow at her. “I think the way I’m going to have my way with you in bed later is a testament to that.”

“Not in front of the child,” Eunsook joked, pointing to Puck, who had finally relaxed and was snuggled against her thigh.

“Has he ever been in the room when we do?” Taemin asked, rolling to his side and snuggling into Eunsook’s other side.

“I don’t think he has. He’s good about staying in his bed,” Eunsook said, reaching down and giving Puck a good scratch on the ear.

“Surprised he hasn’t torn it to shreds like he’s trying to with that toy over there.”

“His bed doesn’t look like an animal,” Eunsook replied, sighing. “Here, it’s getting late. You should go take a shower, and I will finish this homework, and then you may have your way with me.”

“Sounds appealing. Alright hurry on your homework, and maybe let Puck out before bed. Then you’re going to be in heaven,” Taemin said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her cheek before standing up and heading to the bathroom.

Eunsook sat up and sat back against the couch, Puck following her so he could still lie next to her thigh. She picked up her homework again, running a hand absently on her braid as she worked. It annoyed her, just a little. She knew Taemin loved every bit of her, but she felt like he was crazy for her hair, which is why he always insisted she keep it. And that was frustrating, because damn it, it was her hair, and she could do whatever she pleased with it. But she knew that if she did anything to get rid of her long hair, Taemin would throw the mother of all temper tantrums, and sometimes it just didn’t feel like some things were worth it.

But she really wanted a haircut.

* * *

“I think I am,” Taemin said one day as he, Minho, and Jonghyun ate lunch together at their favorite stir-fry hang-out.

“You think you are what?” Minho asked, slurping up a noodle.

“I think I’m going to ask Eunsook to marry me.”

Jonghyun started coughing on a bell pepper and Minho’s large eyes went impossibly bigger. Taemin stared at them, dumbfounded.

“Are you guys okay?”

“Marriage?” Jonghyun nearly screeched, finally clearing his windpipe. “Are you out of your mind?”

“Excuse you, homosexual that doesn’t believe in marriage, you don’t get a say in this.”

“Then can I take that ‘are you out of your mind’ and make it mine?” Minho said, raising an eyebrow to Taemin.

Taemin scoffed. “You were the one who told me I was about ten seconds away from getting married anyway!”

“Yeah, as a _warning_!” 

“Dude, you’re only twenty, what do you want to get married for? When I was twenty, all I wanted was a nice, hot ass to fuck,” Jonghyun said with a cocky smirk.

“And we all know how that went. They still recognize you at the clinic?”

“Some meds and that cleared right up, asshole,” Jonghyun said with a pout.

“Shut up, Jonghyun, you aren’t helping. But, honestly, Taemin, think about it for a second. You are still really young. You don’t even know what you want to do with your life,” Minho said, folding his hands together.

“I know that whatever I do, I want Eunsook to be there. I want her holding my hand as I pick my career, I want to be there when she gets the job of her dreams, I want to see her pregnant with my children, I want to fall asleep next to her every night for the rest of my life. I love her. Oh, knock it off,” Taemin tacked on to the end, noticing how Minho had pretended to shoot himself in the temple.

“Are you sure?” Jonghyun finally said, looking up at his friend.

“I’ve been thinking about it since we moved into the new apartment a few months ago. I love Eunsook with all my being and I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I want to marry her.” Taemin nodded, as if to close the discussion.

“Well, Minho, looks like nothing we can say will change his mind. Their relationship did survive the whirlwind of his puberty, the age gap, and high school,” Jonghyun noted, shrugging.

Minho hummed, then pulled out his phone and started dialing a number.

“What are you doing?” Taemin asked nervously.

“Calling Gwiboon, She’s been best friends with Eunsook since elementary school, she’ll know exactly what type of ring she would want.”

* * *

“I know something you don’t know!”

Eunsook looked up from her magazine, happy to see her best friend finally making it to the salon. “Oh, you do, do you?”

“Don’t take that condescending genius tone with me, Lady,” Gwiboon said, sitting down next to Eunsook and crossing her legs, setting her oversized purse down next to her feet. Eunsook never could understand how Gwiboon could wear sky-high stilettos all the time and not be suffering from constant foot pain.

“Alright, well, fine, tell me, what do you know that I don’t?”

“I can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”

Eunsook raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Then why even bring it up?”

“Because I like teasing you. Now, tell me, why did you want me to come to the salon with you? You’ve never had me here before. You’re lucky I had time after my previous engagement. I was with someone else about ten minutes ago.”

“I feel so honored, then. Remember what we were talking about the other day? That I was still thinking about?”

Gwiboon checked her nails as she thought, then froze. “ _No_.”

“I… well, yes. I just needed the moral support. So having you here is kind of a good thing for me.”

Gwiboon turned in her seat and faced Eunsook. “You did talk to him about it, didn’t you?”

Eunsook rubbed the back of her neck, her long hair tied away from it in a messy bun, held up with chopsticks. “I sort of… mentioned it in passing.”

“And did he agree to it?”

“Not exactly.”

“Eunsook,” Gwiboon lamented, smacking a palm to her forehead. “He is going to be floored. He is going to yell at you.”

“He is not going to yell at me over this!”

“The boy is a borderline hair fetishist and you’re trying to tell me that this isn’t going to upset him? Sookie, your brain is turning to rot.”

Eunsook sighed and rubbed a hand on her face. “Can you please be supportive of this? I’m not doing this just because, remember. I have a very good reason. And I’m sure once I tell Taemin that reason; he’ll understand and be proud of me.”

“If you can get a word in edgewise over him crying,” Gwiboon mumbled, grabbing Eunsook’s hand. “But you know what? I promised you moral support, and I am here to give it. And you just call me if you need it later when Taemin has committed suicide.”

Eunsook rolled her eyes, then held her magazine up. “I’m doing this, by the way.”

Gwiboon choked. “Lord, give me strength.”

* * *

Once home, Taemin wasted no time in making the evening perfect. He cleaned, no easy task with Puck chasing him and pulling his toys out of the basket they went in and strewing them all about the room after Taemin would pick them up and put them back in the basket. He had tried to make good food, but the best he could come up was some ramen with green onions, rice, and seaweed soup, the only thing he could manage in the kitchen without starting a fire. He set the dining room table, had candles ready to light, and made sure that he was dressed nice.

He was, after all, about to make his high school sweetheart his fiancée, and he would be damned if he looked schlubby while doing so.

Hoping that Eunsook had not gone to dinner with Gwiboon (he had trusted Gwiboon to keep her mouth shut; she pinkie promised she would before she left the jewelry store to meet Eunsook at the hair salon), Taemin set out their meal, nervously patting Puck on the head as he let the time pass.

“Steady, Taemin, steady, no need to get all antsy, you know she’ll say yes,” Taemin said to himself, pacing nervously around the kitchen as he debated on whether or not he had enough time to run to the corner store and try and bribe the owner to let him buy cheap wine. His socked feet made no noise on the linoleum; the black velvet box in his pocket felt like it was searing a hole through his pants (Gwiboon had told him the acceptable engagement ring had to cost three month’s salary, and, even with a payment plan, his credit card had started crying). He began panicking over the small, insignificant things, like how much dog hair was Puck inadvertently getting on him, was his hair messy, should he brush his teeth again, and was the ring too small? He had opted out of just diamonds on the ring, and had chosen something with a blue topaz in it, which Gwiboon had informed him, was December’s birthstone. Was it something Eunsook was going to like? Gwiboon had sworn she would love it, blue topaz on white gold, but Taemin was a bundle of overactive nerves and he had no idea if she would like it or only pretend for his sake.

When he finally heard the front door open and Eunsook’s voice declaring she was home, Taemin’s heart sped up and he turned to light the candles, clumsily striking a match. “I’m in here, babe!”

He heard Eunsook come into the kitchen-dining room mix. “Oh my gosh, Taemin, what’s this all for?”

“I just thought we needed a little something special. Well,” he chuckled, as he looked down at their meager meal. “Special in setting anyway.” 

“Seriously, Taemin, are we celebrating something?”

“That depends on how the night goes,” Taemin said, suddenly all smooth and confident. He smiled and lit the last candle, waving the match out as he turned around. “Because I have something…”

He dropped the box of matches, a few of them escaping and rolling around at his feet. He swallowed hard as his eyes went wide. He had expected to turn around and see her hair cascading around her, all length and maybe some new layers, black and silky and beautiful over her shoulders. Instead, he was met with her hair still black and sleek, but sheared off to just under her chin, her bangs combed to the side and curving over her eyes, the length short everywhere.

“Taemin, are you okay?” Eunsook said hurriedly, looking down at the matches. Her hair moved next to her chin, covering her cheeks. Taemin was at a loss.

“You… your hair,” he finally choked out, unable to believe that the beautiful hair she owned, the hair that she would have him braid before bed, that was always so soft to the touch, was chopped off to such an extent.

Suddenly sheepish, she reached up and smoothed a hand over it. “Yeah, it… it is a little extreme, isn’t it?”

“A little?” Taemin nearly screeched, gawking at her. Taemin was never one for confrontation; he put off arguing for as long as he could. But sometimes, his temper snapped. And looking at Eunsook, her beautiful, long hair gone, his emotions were all over the place.

Eunsook looked down at her feet. “I just… well, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. Did Gwiboon put you up to this? Did she finally get her stupid little trend obsessions stuck into your head? Are you following whatever the tabloids say now? Should I DVR the gossip channels for you?”

“That’s not fair, Taemin,” Eunsook snapped back, eyebrows furrowing. “To me or Gwiboon, she has never tried to force something on me before and you know it. And what kind of confidence is that in me? You think that I would suddenly become some brainless celebrity chaser?”

“What else am I supposed to think?”

Eunsook gestured wildly. “Oh, I don’t know, that maybe I am a person who decided I wanted a change?”

Puck whined from under the dining table, as if sensing the animosity and trying to get them to stop. Taemin charged on. “But you have always kept your hair long! What on earth made you— no, I’m not— no. I’m not going on with this. Just, here, sit down, and we’ll eat.”

Eunsook pointed at him. “No, Taemin, we are not finished. What do you even care? I know you liked braiding my hair, but this a little extreme. This is a crazy overreaction to a _haircut_. Why are you freaking out?”

“Because your hair was beautiful the way it was, and you didn’t need to change it!”

“This wasn’t a matter of need, Taemin, this was a want. And it is my hair, and I wanted to do something different with it. God, are we even arguing about this? My hair is short now, get over it!”

Puck whined again, his ears pulled back nervously, as Taemin pointed to his chest. “I can’t get over it, Eunsook! You just lost most of your hair; I’m going to be upset!”

“Why are you having such an emotional breakdown over my hair? It is just hair!”

“Yeah, and it was why I thought you were so beautiful, and now it’s gone!”

Eunsook’s face relaxed. Taemin’s eyes went wide and he hid his mouth with his hand. “No, I didn’t—”

“Is that what you think, Taemin?”

“No, that’s not, I didn’t mean… that came out wrong, that’s not what I meant,” Taemin stammered, unable to believe himself. “I… shit, Eunsook, I didn’t… can we just… baby, let’s just—”

“Don’t you dare call me baby,” Eunsook nearly snarled. Taemin took a step towards her and she raised a hand, as if to hit him. “Don’t fucking touch me, Taemin.”

Taemin blanched. Eunsook rarely ever swore; the word itself was like being hit in the face. She stormed out of the room, stomping all the way to their bedroom; she slammed their bedroom door so hard the whole apartment shook. Taemin felt the roiling pit of shame swirl in his belly; he had never been more ashamed of himself. Her hair was not the only reason he thought she was beautiful, but he’d gone and said it anyway, upset and stunned that she’d cut so much of it off.

He sat down on his chair, his appetite completely gone. The velvet box in his pocket stood out against his legs, and he suddenly felt even more upset. Puck came out from under the table and nosed at his hand, looking up with copious amounts of doggy concern in his eyes. Taemin stroked his soft ears.

“I don’t deserve your love, Puck,” he said quietly. “And I don’t deserve hers, either.”

He sat for a few more minutes, and then quietly put the food he’d made into Tupperware, setting it in the fridge in case she decided to forgive him and they could eat. Once that was done, he walked slowly into the living room, Puck on his heels. He slumped onto the couch, the words he’d said on perpetual repeat in his head. He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid as to say something so terribly hurtful. With a sigh, he dug into his pocket and brought out the velvet box, popping it open to look at the ring inside, his heart aching.

“You stupid, fucking moron,” he said to himself, slamming the box closed angrily and putting it back in his pocket.

He sat on the couch for a while longer, staring at the ceiling, mentally kicking himself. He went over the things that he could say to her in apology when she finally came out of the bedroom, all of it involving a lot of shameless begging and getting down on his knees in repentance. He was just getting together his thoughts when he heard the bedroom door open. He looked towards the hallway, and felt his heart stutter when he saw Eunsook with a coat on, a suitcase in her hands.

“Eunsook…” he said, sitting up and moving to stand. She held a hand out. Her face was streaky and her eyes and nose were bright red. She’d been crying, and his guilt intensified in a way he didn’t even think was possible.

“Please, don’t get up for me,” she choked out, and Taemin’s heart ripped. “You’ve nothing to distract you from my horrible looks now.”

“No, Eunsook, I didn’t…”

“Just don’t, Taemin,” she said, sniffling and moving towards the door, grabbing her keys from the table they kept near it. “I’m going to Gwiboon’s.”

“Please, Eunsook, I didn’t mean…”

“Just stop, Taemin,” Eunsook said, giving him one last look. “You have said more than enough already.”

Having never moved from the couch, he sat and watched her walk out of the door, closing it behind her and leaving. And then he was alone with Puck, who had trotted to the door and whined at it, as if trying to get Eunsook to come back, too.

He had planned on proposing to her, and instead, he’d made her leave. It was then, he decided, that he deserved the Worst Boyfriend Ever award.


	2. Chapter 2

Gwiboon answered her door in a pair of sweatpants and a camisole with a glass of red wine in her hands. Her eyebrows furrowed. “Sookie, sweetie, what are you doing here?”

Eunsook sniffled. “I don’t want to intrude, but could I… could I stay here tonight?”

When Eunsook’s already red eyes started filling up with tears, Gwiboon hurriedly ushered her into her apartment. “Oh, Sookie, Eunsook, sweetheart, it’s okay, come on, get in here.”

Eunsook choked out a watery “thank you” and slid off her shoes as Gwiboon closed the door behind her. She grabbed Eunsook’s suitcase. “Here, hon, go sit down on the couch, get comfy, and I’ll go get you a glass of wine. I’d offer you something harder, but…”

“I know you don’t keep it around the house,” Eunsook said, hiccuping and sitting on the couch, sliding her jacket off. 

Gwiboon set Eunsook’s suitcase down in the hall and hurried into the kitchen, bringing out another glass and the whole bottle of red wine. She sat down next to Eunsook on the couch and poured her a glass. “There, we go. A little something to make you feel better.”

Eunsook accepted the glass and sucked down the alcohol quickly, making Gwiboon stare. “Wow. This is worse than I thought.”

Holding her glass out to be topped off, Eunsook rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “Just… keep it coming.”

“Sweetheart, what happened? I thought that Taemin— well, I thought it was going to be a happy evening.”

“I thought so, too.” Eunsook stared up at the ceiling. “Oh, Gwiboon, I don’t even know. He had a candlelit dinner set out and it all looked so nice and then he saw my hair and it was like he was staring at the creature from The Black Lagoon. I don’t even know what the occasion was, but apparently, I ruined it.”

“No, you didn’t ruin it. Taemin’s just an immature little twat that can’t handle change. You’re better off.”

“Please, Gwiboon,” Eunsook moaned pathetically. “Please don’t insult him. That’s not what I need.”

“Then I grabbed the wrong bottle of wine. Alright, well, so what happened? He just gawked at your hair and you decided to stay here? If you recall, Sookie, I did warn you that he was going to shit a brick factory when he saw it.”

“I know you did. But I thought he’d get used to it. And then he just… God.”

Gwiboon grimaced as Eunsook took a large gulp of her wine. “And then he just what? He didn’t tell you to go buy a wig, did he?”

“I think I would have preferred that. He… we started arguing and it got pretty heated and he let out the mother of all Freudian Slips.”

“Freudian Slip? Dear God, what did he say?”

Eunsook swirled the wine in her glass. “He told me that my long hair was the only reason he thought I was beautiful and that I just cut it all off.”

Gwiboon gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her hand. “He did _not_.”

Eunsook nodded before her face twisted in sadness and she started crying again. “God, I feel so worthless. I feel so ugly and stupid and worthless. I _am_ ugly and stupid and worthless.”

“You shut your mouth right now, you are not any of those,” Gwiboon said, scooting over and holding Eunsook in her arms. “I can’t believe he said that, that little shit rag! Ugh, honestly, that little rat bastard, I’ll wring his scrawny neck.”

“Please don’t call him those things.”

“He’s made you cry, I will call him whatever I feel like. God, you were right to leave. Because I know you, and I know the second he apologized you would have forgiven him, no consequence.”

“I know,” Eunsook mumbled, embarrassed by herself.

“So what does this mean? Did you guys, like… break up?”

Eunsook shrugged. “I don’t know. I just left. I didn’t say it was over, and he did look ready to apologize, so I know he still wanted us to work. I just… it’s all so messed up, Gwiboon.”

“You’ll figure it out, sweetie. In the meantime, you are more than welcomed to crash on my couch for as long as you need.”

“Thank you, Gwiboon,” Eunsook said, laying her head on her friend’s shoulder.

“But in all reality, girl, this haircut is adorable on you. I can’t believe he had a panic attack over it.”

Eunsook made a noise that sounded like a chicken clucking. Gwiboon snorted, then nudged her with her knee. “Do you want to hear something that might make you feel a bit better?”

“Sure, give it a shot.”

“I slept with Jonghyun on my birthday.”

Eunsook looked up at Gwiboon. “You’re making that up.”

Gwiboon held up her hand. “On my honor as a lady, I slept with him. Ass-hat took Minho home, remember, and you went home afterward? I made Jonghyun stay at my place because he was too drunk to drive. And we sort of… hooked up.”

“Your birthday was a month and a half ago! Why am I just hearing this now?”

“Because we both swore we’d never bring it up again. I don’t know how the alcohol straightened him out so bad, but I do know that he wore a pair of my Victoria’s Secret sweats home. And he took a pair of my sunglasses. But I kept his hat so I guess it was fair.”

Eunsook smiled. “So?”

“So what?”

“So how was he?”

Gwiboon gave it a moment of thought. “Surprisingly fantastic, His fingers are going to waste being used on assholes, I’ve never had such satisfying foreplay. I’ve slept with straight guys who couldn’t do it like that.”

“He really did that well?”

“Yes. Though, to be fair, he did try to put it in the wrong hole on the first try.”

Eunsook choked and started laughing. Gwiboon rubbed her shoulder. “That’s a girl, Sookie, have a laugh to ease the pain.”

“I’m crying, too, I just can’t stop picturing it and it’s hilarious.”

“And that’s all I ask,” Gwiboon replied, clinking her glass with Eunsook’s.

* * *

“Oh, God, good, you two got my text message,” Taemin said frantically as he opened the door to his apartment.

Jonghyun lunged forward and squished his old friend in a hug. “There he is, committed to the old ball and chain!”

“Argh!” Taemin exclaimed, trying to push Jonghyun’s muscle off of him as the older man gave him a noogie.

“Where is the old ball and chain, anyway? I would have figured you two have been doing the mattress mambo.”

“That’s what I called you over for!” Taemin tried to wriggle away. “Let me go!”

Jonghyun finally did as he was asked, and Taemin led them into the living room. Puck barked once and Minho reached down to scratch him as they sat down, patting his knees so Puck would jump up on his lap.

“Minho, you know I don’t want him jumping up, he’s not a lap dog.”

“Oh, he can be a lap dog for me, huh, Puck?” Minho said, smiling as Puck got comfy and wagged his tail. “Now, tell us, what happened? Where is Eunsook?”

“I, um…” Taemin wrung his hands nervously. “I think she’s at Gwiboon’s.”

“Couldn’t resist showing off the ring, right? Are we here to drink and celebrate?” Jonghyun asked, shrugging when Minho gave him a look.

“Well, no, actually, I didn’t… I didn’t propose.”

“And why not?” Minho asked, raising an eyebrow. Taemin hated how purely father Minho sounded when he asked questions like that. It made him worry for his future children.

“Um, yeah, why not? I did not spend all afternoon in a jewelry shop for nothing.”

“You loved it and you know it, Jonghyun. Now, tell us, Taemin, why didn’t you propose?”

“I… well, to put it bluntly, boys, I fucked up. I fucked up big time.”

“Did you put the ring in a glass and she drank it? Did you accidentally put cucumber in something?” Jonghyun asked curiously.

“No, I remember the things she’s allergic to, thank you. I— now you both need to realize, she shocked me. And I was without a brain when this happened.”

“What did you do?” Minho and Jonghyun asked in unison. Taemin winced; they’d been double-voicing things at him for years, and it was always when he did something stupid.

“Well, she came home, she came from the salon, and I don’t even know… I didn’t think she was serious when she was talking about it, and then she just came in all different and I was so blindsided and I just blurted it out, and you both know how I can fit both feet in my mouth.”

“This is true, but you still haven’t told us anything. What happened? She did something, and then you did something?” Minho asked, stroking Puck’s ear with his thumb.

“For fuck’s sake, just spit it out,” Jonghyun said, crossing his arms.

“She came in and her hair was chopped off to her chin and I panicked.”

“No way, really? Eunsook, with short hair? How short?” Jonghyun asked, his attention span shot off on the image of Eunsook with short hair.

“I don’t— about here, I guess.” Taemin ran his hand next to his jaw, indicating how short Eunsook’s hair was.

“While that is a shock, because that’s so unlike Eunsook, that isn’t any reason to not propose to her,” Minho pointed out.

“So, we ask again: what happened?”

Taemin gulped. “That— well, I just— the argument was getting pretty heated and in the heat of the moment sometimes you say things you don’t mean—”

“What did you do?” Jonghyun and Minho repeated firmly, making Taemin cower.

“I blurted out that her long hair was the only reason I thought she was beautiful.”

It was quiet, for a moment. Then, Jonghyun calmly picked up the pillow that sat by the arm of the couch, turned to Taemin, and started beating him with it. “ _You dumb fucking ass-bitch, what the hell is the matter with you?_ ”

“Ow, hey, oomf, ow, stop, I didn’t mean it, and I tried to apologize, ow, stop hitting me!”

“You are the stupidest person on the face of the planet!” Jonghyun said fiercely, hitting Taemin with the pillow with every word.

“I know, I know, please, stop hitting me!”

“Jonghyun, stop hitting him.”

Minho’s deep voice rang forcefully with the command. Jonghyun pouted and sat back down on his end of the couch, looking at Taemin and hitting him one more time with the pillow.

“Taemin, what on earth made you say that?” Minho asked. Taemin grimaced.

“I don’t even know. And it’s such a lie I don’t even know why it came out of my mouth. I mean, her long hair was certainly the reason I paid attention to her in the first place, but I love so many things about her, she is beautiful all over, and I just… I have to get over there, and I have to tell her all this, and beg for her forgiveness.”

Taemin moved to stand up; Jonghyun leaped and grabbed him, holding him in place. “Not a good idea, pally.”

“Why not? I need to go fix this! I love her! Let me go!”

Minho laced his fingers together like a mob boss. “Taemin, Eunsook is, without a doubt, very upset over this. We knew how she was before you started dating her; she was not the most confident girl. She had very harsh body images of herself, and low self-esteem.”

“I said it was because of Gwiboon being the fabulous bitch she is,” Jonghyun added.

“And that could have been part of it. And she has been much better with you, very happy with herself and cheerful. Hearing you say that you didn’t think she was beautiful more than likely brought back all those old insecurities, so she needs time to sort through those and be upset. And, if I know Gwiboon like I think I do, she’s filling her with alcohol and egging on her emotions.”

“And badmouthing you, she’s very good about that. Talked my ear off when she and Minho broke up for the first time.”

“Not relevant to the story, Jonghyun,” Minho groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Look, Taemin, the point is, she is still very hurt, and you can’t go there while she’s thinking all these things.”

“Why?”

“Because she’ll kick you in the balls if you do, you fuckwit,” Jonghyun said in exasperation, knocking on Taemin’s head. “God, you really are thick.”

“I am not! Just… unaccustomed to fighting.”

Minho sighed. “Look, if you’re that desperate to fix things right away, at least wait until morning, when she will have slept on it and had time to relax and you will have had time to figure out what you’re going to say.”

Taemin nodded. “Okay, I can do that, okay. Sounds like a good idea. Thanks, you guys, for helping me out with this.”

“Oh, we aren’t doing this for free.”

Taemin looked at Jonghyun. “Excuse me?”

“We haven’t eaten since lunch, Taemin. We expect to be fed,” Minho elaborated, smiling.

“So chop-chop, dumbass!” Jonghyun said, pushing Taemin off the couch. “Get us some food!”

Taemin stood up and rubbed his ass, sighing in defeat as he went to the kitchen to heat up the food he’d intended to feed to himself and Eunsook. Someone should have eaten it.

* * *

Gwiboon, in her pajamas and bathrobe, woke Eunsook up gently the next morning. “Hey, how about we hit the diner and eat our feelings?”

Eunsook blearily rubbed her eyes, her short hair a new mess on her head. “What feelings do you have?”

“The recurring desire to make Minho my boyfriend feelings.”

After a moment’s sleepy thought, Eunsook nodded. “Yeah, those are definitely reasons to eat your feelings. I’m not having you date him again.”

“But why?”

“You’ve been dating sporadically since high school, enough is enough. Now either let me sleep or get me up to eat something.”

“Will do,” Gwiboon said, pulling Eunsook’s arms so she was sitting on the couch instead of lying on it. “Your tit’s about to fall out.”

Eunsook looked down and saw that her baggy shirt was, indeed, not doing its job. She hiked it up with a grumble and stretched, shaking her head. “No hair feels weird.”

“You get used to it. Now, come on, we have cholesterol to devour!”

Eunsook stumbled into the kitchen, reaching for the coffee Gwiboon had prepared. She poured herself a cup when there was a knock on the door.

“I got it!” Gwiboon called out, trotting out of the bathroom with a hairbrush in her hand. She opened the door and quickly lost all cheerfulness.

“Hi, Gwiboon,” Taemin said softly, looking sheepish. “Is… can I talk to Eunsook, please?”

Gwiboon chuckled and turned away, as if she was going to call Eunsook, then she turned back to Taemin quickly, letting her fist fly. She hit him square in the nose, making him fall back on his ass with a shout of pain as he clutched his nose, which was now bleeding.

“How _dare_ you come here looking for Eunsook? You have such nerve to be here. Haven’t you done enough already?” she spat at him, clutching her hairbrush as if she was going to start beating him with it.

Taemin got up on his knees, bracing himself with one hand as his nose dripped blood onto the concrete. “Please, Gwiboon, just let me talk to her.”

Gwiboon rolled her eyes, and then raised the hairbrush. Taemin shut his eyes, ready for the strike, but it never came. What did come was Eunsook’s frantic voice.

“Jesus Christ, Gwiboon, don’t! Stop, don’t hit him, please don’t hit him.”

Taemin looked up and saw Eunsook pulling the hairbrush away from Gwiboon’s clutches. Eunsook pressed it into Gwiboon’s chest. “Here, take it, take it and go, just don’t hit him again.”

“Are you kidding? This little asshole—”

“Gwiboon, please! Just… just go. Go inside.”

Begrudgingly, Gwiboon flipped Taemin off and walked back inside. Eunsook ran over to Taemin and grabbed his face, smoothing his hair back as she examined his nose. “Taemin, are you okay, do I need to take you to the doctor?”

Taemin waved a hand. “No, no, it’s not broken. Eunsook, careful, I’ll bleed on you.”

“Well, here, come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Taemin held a hand to his nose as Eunsook led him into Gwiboon’s apartment and into the kitchen. She handed him a paper towel and he cleaned himself up with it, washing his hands in the sink.

“Are you going to be okay?” Eunsook asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I don’t deserve this, you know.”

“I know, she shouldn’t have hit you, that was—”

“No, that I deserved,” Taemin said, looking at Eunsook. “I don’t deserve you, being all fretful and worrisome over me. You should have been the one who punched me. And I don’t say that because I think Gwiboon hits harder than you do.”

“She strength trains with Minho.”

“And it shows. But, really, Eunsook, you should have just let me bleed out there. I don’t even know why you are acting like this.”

Eunsook looked down at her feet. “If you wanted me to ignore you, why did you come?”

“Because, Eunsook,” Taemin said, taking her hands. “I came to beg your forgiveness. On my knees, if I had to. I… I said something spectacularly horrible to you, and I don’t deserve your kindness right now. I fucked up, astoundingly.”

“Taemin…”

“And don’t. Don’t be all kind and sweet and forgiving and perfect like I know you’re going to be. I know I hurt you, because you left. And I’m trying to fix it. But don’t just forgive me, because I don’t deserve it. I said something so horribly untrue and it hurt you, and I know I can never take it back, but I want to, and I want you to know that I didn’t mean a word of it.”

Eunsook’s eyes welled up. She had planned on making Taemin walk through fire to make it up to her, but having him here, in front of her, admitting his stupidity, all she wanted to do was gather him up and forgive him without a second thought. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Don’t just say that for my benefit. I have to make so many things up to you. I don’t even know what else to say to you, besides I’m sorry and I’m an idiot.”

“Can you say you like my hair?”

Taemin bit his lip and looked at it, cut to her jaw, black and silky and parted on the side. He swallowed. “It… can grow on me. And this is no excuse for what I said, but you did shock the holy hell out of me, Eunsook. I have never seen your hair shorter than your shoulder blades, and then suddenly you come in with it all cut off? I can at least justify my shock.”

“But not your being a jerk?”

He chuckled. “No, that’s inexcusable. And I know I need to work a lot to make that up to you.”

“Your nose stopped bleeding,” Eunsook said, noting how red his nose still was. It was more than likely going to bruise. “What are you going to do to make it up to me?”

“Anything you want. Starting with that romantic dinner over again. And then, I am at your beck and call.”

Eunsook sighed then chewed her lip for a moment. “I feel like I should be putting up more of a fight, but I really don’t want to deal with this anymore. It hurt, but you know what? I’ve listened to you put your foot in your mouth for six years. I can recover from this.”

“God, I feel like I’m only getting detention instead of expelled,” Taemin chuckled, bringing Eunsook’s hand up and kissing it. “You are literally the greatest girl ever and I don’t know what possessed me to say anything to you besides ‘I love you, you’re perfect.’ Because you are, you are so perfect and amazing and beautiful and smart and caring and everything in between.”

Eunsook blushed. “I like how you’re redeeming yourself so far.”

“And I, um… I don’t know the protocol for this, but I was going to do this last night, and I meant to ask Minho and Jjong about what to do but it slipped my mind so I’m just playing by ear. If this is the wrong thing to do right now, just punch me again and I won’t talk about it anymore.”

Taemin slowly slid down to one knee. Eunsook’s eyes went wide as she watched him fumble in his coat pocket for a moment. “Taemin.”

“I love you, Eunsook, I love you so much. I love the way your whole face smiles and I love your little rabbit teeth and I love how it takes you ten minutes to wake up even if you’ve been walking around the house for that period of time and I love that I cannot win against you at Scrabble no matter how hard I try.” Taemin brought the box up and held it in his palm. “And I love that you are kind and sweet and beautiful and I love how you get self-conscious when I slowly take all your clothes off when we have sex, like you think I’m going to find something wrong with you but I never do because there is nothing wrong. I am an idiot that does not deserve you, but I hope you’ll let me be your undeserving idiot forever.”

“Taemin,” Eunsook squeaked out again, holding her hands up to her mouth as Taemin opened the box and showed off the simple, pretty ring inside.

“Eunsook, will you marry me?”

Taemin’s heart raced as Eunsook was quiet for a moment. Just when he thought he’d screwed up yet again, Eunsook burst into tears.

“God, I should tell you no, I should tell you it’s not the right time, but I can’t. I can’t because I know it would just prolong the inevitable. Yes, yes, I’ll marry you.”

Taemin let out a shaky breath and took the ring out, grabbing her left hand and sliding the ring on. She looked at for a second, still crying, before leaping into Taemin’s arms and hugging him tightly, crying and laughing all at once.

“I love you, and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that your fiancé is a complete moron and a work-in-progress and immature,” Taemin murmured, feeling slightly disoriented that he had to reach up so far to stroke her hair.

“I’ll take you any way you come in. I love you despite you being a complete idiot. God, I’m getting married. Oh, my God, Gwiboon!”

Gwiboon came running into the kitchen, as if expecting trouble. “What, what happened? Can I hit him again?”

Eunsook chuckled and shook her head. “No, you can’t hit him. But I have to ask you. Will you be my maid of honor?”

Gwiboon processed the statement for a moment, and then gawked. “Taemin, you used your proposal to get out of trouble? You dipshit. And oh, my God, yes, of course I will be! Ahh, I get to be your maid of honor, you’re getting married!”

Eunsook and Gwiboon hugged and jumped, equal amounts excited. “Okay, this is going to be so fun, see, Taemin, I told you she’d like the ring!”

“Yes, you did. Thanks for that,” Taemin said, rubbing the back of his neck. Eunsook laughed.

“Oh, I don’t even care that I was the last to know. Okay, you, mister, you need to leave so you can plan the whole day out about how you are going to do everything in your power to make it up to me. Gwiboon and I have a breakfast date.”

Taemin agreed, and kissed Eunsook once before departing the apartment. He closed the door behind him to excited shouts of wedding plans and bachelorette parties.

He blew up his bangs. “Not out of the woods yet, self. Not out of the woods yet.”

* * *

“That was way overdue,” Taemin panted, wiping the sweat from his forehead as Eunsook smiled at him.

“I don’t think it could have been put off for another moment,” she agreed.

“That has got to be the best effort I’ve ever put out.”

“Can I vote you do this all the time?”

“Are you kidding? I think my arms are about to fall off. And I think my back is going to give out.”

Eunsook frowned. “Ah, well, I guess I understand. But the bathroom has never been this clean before, you did a fantastic job cleaning it.”

“When am I going to be completely forgiven?” Taemin asked, stashing the cleaning products back under the sink.

“Either when I get tired of looking at my ring or when I grow my hair back out.”

“It’s been three days, aren’t you sick of looking at it?” Taemin asked, standing up and stretching before gingerly itching the side of his nose; it had indeed bruised, but it was not nearly as bad as Eunsook had imagined it would be.

“This is my engagement ring, a symbol of my eternal commitment to you. And it’s pretty. I’m not anywhere near done looking at it yet.”

Taemin sighed. “By the way, why did you cut your hair? You know, just so I know.”

“Oh, right, meant to tell you. Here, come here, look.”

Eunsook led Taemin to her laptop, where she opened up a browser and typed a few words into the search bar, and hit the first link she saw.

“Locks of Love?” Taemin asked, reading over the page.

“I found out about it at school. They make wigs for children with cancer who undergo treatment that makes them lose their hair. I figured, I have a ton of hair, I might as well do something with it.”

Taemin read over the page, viewing the various links. He looked down at Eunsook. “So you chopped off your hair and sent it to these people?”

“The salon does it. We put my hair into a ponytail, Gwiboon braided it quickly so none of it would fall out of the ponytail when it came off, and they snipped it. I got to hold it. It was like a hair snake.”

“How much hair was there?”

She pondered it for a moment. “Two feet, I think they said.”

“Holy shit, two feet of hair. That is going to take so long to grow out.”

“You’re still on your hair kick?”

“It has been four days, let me mourn it for a little bit, okay?”

Eunsook smiled and leaned against him. “You know, I want to do this again, and the minimum length requirement is ten inches.”

“So?”

“So that means that I’m going to grow my hair out again, and your hair fetish will have an outlet again, for a little while.”

Taemin pouted. “It is not a hair fetish.”

Eunsook laughed. “Alright, go give Puck a bath, you’re still in trouble.”

Taemin grumbled and stomped to let Puck in the house. Eunsook looked at her ring and smiled.

She would give him another week of her gleeful torture before she would let up. He at least deserved that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it!

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my livejournal account exklusiv_writes. Figured it was time to put it over here.


End file.
